February

The only good thing about February is that it is short. February is, without question, the most depressing month of the year. It is cold, gray, and hopeless. Nothing is going on to be a diversion. It just plain sucks.

Lets look at the events in February starting from the beginning:

The Super Bowl. Usually a gigantic disappointment, made worse by the Eagles inability to make it to the title game. Signals the end of football for eight months.

Groundhog Day. My fucking god is this fucking stupid. I wish that groundhog would drop dead one morning. I wonder what that would signify? Hopefully death for the entire damn town that stages this stupid event. Made worse recently by these god damned Gus the Groundhog commercials.

Valentine's Day. The only day worse than 12/25 is 2/14. The worst of all Hallmark holidays, Valentine's Day brings no positives to any male. As far as I can tell, Valentine's Day goes one of three ways, depending on what stage of relationship you are in. If you are in a long term relationship, unless you are asking this bitch to marry you, Valentine's Day can't go well. You are expected to outdo whatever mindless display you put on last year. If you disappoint, you have to deal with angry girlfriend for a while. No sex for you. If you succeed, You just make next year more difficult for yourself. If you are just starting a relationship and fuck this up, the relationship is pretty much over. If you go too over the top, you are expected to be this way all of the damn time. No pressure here. If you are single, you have to fucking deal with all your friends who are not single. Fuck its annoying.

Presidents Day. Going to Catholic school, we never had this day off. Fuck you, public school kids.

February really is an abyss with nothing going on. Football is over. The tournament is a month away. Trees, flowers, grass? All dead. No promise of the New Year shit like January has. No hope of spring and warm days like March and April have. No summer time activities like May through August. September? Weather is still nice, football starts. October? Beauty of fall and all that crap. Baseball playoffs. November? Thanksgiving. December? Days off galore. February? Depression.

February sucks so bad people don't even bother to say it right. It is Feb-ru-ary. But every one says its Feb-u-ary. And why is that? Because Feb-ru-ary is alot harder to say. Who does February think it fucking is trying to be so damned difficult? The only thing worse than February is a Tuesday is February....