I like to fancy myself the original East Coast Brett Favre hater. Sure, it is passe to dislike the man now. And the good people of Chicago, Detroit and Minnesota (HA!) have hated him for close to two decades. But while he was being showered with adoration for feats accomplished in the past during late 90s and early 00s, I was despising him. Often vocally. People usually laughed me down or outright ignored me. Now the majority of Americans agree that Wrangler jeans suck and only losers would endorse them. Since I have your attention, I am ready to take this argument to next logical step.
Brett Favre is the biggest big game choke artist of the decade. It really isn't close and I have the evidence to prove it.
Lets recap Brett's playoff games since the turn of the millennium, shall we?
January 13th, 2002: Packers 25, 49ers 15
Favre: 22-29, 259 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT
Favre was still feeling good in his first playoff game of the decade. Good for him. This was back in the days when nobody had ever won a road playoff game at Lambeau, but our buddy Brett would take care of that soon enough. Admittedly a good start for Brett. Give it seven days.
January 20th, 2002: Rams 45, Packers 17
Favre: 26-44, 281 yards, 2 TD, 6 INT
The 2002 Rams went 14-2 and made the Super Bowl. A good team without question. That Rams team, however, was 26th in turnover differential at -10. They gave the ball up much more than they took it away. Enter the gunslinger! In a classic Favre performance, he threw 6 interceptions, THREE OF WHICH WERE RETURNED FOR TOUCHDOWNS. Just massively awful on the level of Jake Delhomme. The first pick 6 set the tone for the game, giving the Rams a 7-0 lead.
January 4th, 2003: Falcons 27, Packers 7
Favre: 20-42, 247, 1 TD, 2 INT
Remember that no visiting team had ever won a playoff game at Lambeau? Ends here, in what was actually a pretty great Brett playoff loss performance. He only threw two picks! Really took care of the ball. This was against a team he lit up for 37 on opening day. Typical Favre: look huge September and small in January. 2 TD and no picks in the opener.
January 4th, 2004: Packers 33, Seahawks 27
Favre: 26-38, 319, 1 TD, 0 INT
In a game most remembered by Matt Hasselback's declaration at the overtime coinflip that "we want the ball and we are going to score", Brett never saw the field in overtime as Hasselbeck proved he learned well from his one time mentor by throwing a horrific overtime pick 6. Farve played well. This was around the time people starting calling the Packers playoff run fate cause Brett's dad died.
January 11th, 2004: Eagles 20, Packers 17
Favre: 15-28, 180, 2 TD, 1 INT
Now, one might look at those numbers and think that Brett played reasonably well. And they would be correct, at least through regulation. For the second consecutive week, the Packers headed to overtime. Unfortunately for Green Bay, this time Brett had to play. After his defense, who are often blamed for this loss due to 4th and 26, forced the Eagles three and out, Brett the great threw a deep ball off his back foot. It looked more like a punt and landed safely in the arms of Brian Dawkins. No Packers were really around the ball. The Eagles won a few plays later.
January 9th, 2005: Vikings 31, Packers 17
Favre: 22-33, 216, 1 TD, 4 INT
All four picks happened while this was still a very competitive game. Typical Favre shitfest. Most memorable for me because this was when Collinsworth laughed it up saying how great Brett was when he illegally threw that underhand flip into the endzone. Penalties at the goal line are so funny! He's having such a good time! Gunslingin' it around! 4 picks in a home playoff game! Highlights with shitty music and graphics here.
January 12th, 2008: Packers 42, Seahawks 20
Favre: 18-23, 173, 3 TD, 0 INT
After three years away, Brett had his finest playoff moment of the decade. Thank God for the Seahawks or this would be a really ugly list for Brett. This set up a home NFC Championship Game in which the Packers would be huge favorites.
January 19th, 2008: Giants 23, Packers 20
Favre: 19-35, 236, 2 TD, 2 INT
This game went into overtime, and in his last game as a Packer at Lambeau he did this. That is Brett's last pass as a Packer at Lambeau field. A horrendous, back breaking playoff interception. So very appropriate. He put up decent numbers, but, as Brett often does, he loses the game for his team.
In total, we have 8 games. 3-5 record in total and 3-3 at home. 1-5 against team not from Seattle. 14 touchdowns against 18 interceptions. 2 interceptions in overtime that led directly to losses. We aren't even mentioning the December 2008 meltdown or the current mess occurring in Minneapolis. Brett Favre: Decade long playoff choke artist.
But he loves the play the game! All those other more successful quarterbacks are mean old football haters.
12/21/09
Christmas Commercial Critique: Kay Jewelers
I assume that you have already seen this commercial, because despite its absurdity it runs non fucking stop. I have yet to speak with anyone who doesn't think this commercial is ridiculous on every possible level. So let's discuss Kay Jewelers attempt at a Christmas horror story.
See this abomination here.
:00-:05--The setting of the Christmas horror is provided. Deep in the woods a thunderstorm rages through the forest. An especially long and violent clap of thunder leads into the character introductions.
:06-:11--We find the happy couple...watching the thunderstorm through the window? Huh? Why are they doing that? It isn't like it is a snow storm that blankets everything and makes it look nice or something. It is raining outside. Why would you want to watch rain? The female of the couple reacts like someone just got shot at the clap of thunder. If she is this jumpy by the sounds of thunder, why the hell is she standing at a window in the middle of a fucking thunderstorm? Of course, this leads her into the arms of her creepy boyfriend with the even creepier voice who spouts the extremely creepy line "I'm right here...and I always will be". At this point, I assume he is the murderer. He is giving her the $99 piece of Kay jewelry to lull her into a false sense of security. I mean, the guy is standing around watching thunderstorms in a dark forest. He is probably fucked in the head.
:11-:22--We get a voice over telling us the glory of the $79.99 love's embrace collection. It is also at this time when the murdered wraps his victim in some sort of supernatural force field. This is all made more confusing by the victim's appearance of pleasure. We already know she doesn't like the storm. And I doubt it is the cheap mall jewelry store necklace that is bringing her happiness. So what is she happy about? This is a real head scratcher. I got nothing.
:23-:30--The commercial ends with some more creepy dialogue and the ever present this time of year "Every Kiss begins with Kay" tagline. Of course, they are still standing in front of the window where the storm that scared this woman so much is going on. Close the blinds and sit on the couch for fuck's sake.
Jewelry store Christmas commercials are the absolute worst. Unfortunately, they are unavoidable this time of year. If I have to see that damn Jane Seymour open hearts commercial one more time I may manually open my heart with my hand so it will stop.
The most confusing part is that these commercial are presumably focused on men, and every man I know derides and/or hates these commercials. Who do these appeal to? The only people I can think of, especially considering the price point of the product, is teenagers. Fucking teenagers.
Four days until all this bullshit disappears for 9 months!
See this abomination here.
:00-:05--The setting of the Christmas horror is provided. Deep in the woods a thunderstorm rages through the forest. An especially long and violent clap of thunder leads into the character introductions.
:06-:11--We find the happy couple...watching the thunderstorm through the window? Huh? Why are they doing that? It isn't like it is a snow storm that blankets everything and makes it look nice or something. It is raining outside. Why would you want to watch rain? The female of the couple reacts like someone just got shot at the clap of thunder. If she is this jumpy by the sounds of thunder, why the hell is she standing at a window in the middle of a fucking thunderstorm? Of course, this leads her into the arms of her creepy boyfriend with the even creepier voice who spouts the extremely creepy line "I'm right here...and I always will be". At this point, I assume he is the murderer. He is giving her the $99 piece of Kay jewelry to lull her into a false sense of security. I mean, the guy is standing around watching thunderstorms in a dark forest. He is probably fucked in the head.
:11-:22--We get a voice over telling us the glory of the $79.99 love's embrace collection. It is also at this time when the murdered wraps his victim in some sort of supernatural force field. This is all made more confusing by the victim's appearance of pleasure. We already know she doesn't like the storm. And I doubt it is the cheap mall jewelry store necklace that is bringing her happiness. So what is she happy about? This is a real head scratcher. I got nothing.
:23-:30--The commercial ends with some more creepy dialogue and the ever present this time of year "Every Kiss begins with Kay" tagline. Of course, they are still standing in front of the window where the storm that scared this woman so much is going on. Close the blinds and sit on the couch for fuck's sake.
Jewelry store Christmas commercials are the absolute worst. Unfortunately, they are unavoidable this time of year. If I have to see that damn Jane Seymour open hearts commercial one more time I may manually open my heart with my hand so it will stop.
The most confusing part is that these commercial are presumably focused on men, and every man I know derides and/or hates these commercials. Who do these appeal to? The only people I can think of, especially considering the price point of the product, is teenagers. Fucking teenagers.
Four days until all this bullshit disappears for 9 months!
12/7/09
Christmas Commercial Critique: Mastercard
Christ, I am lazy. This is such a strong idea and I have nothing but free time, but nothing ever gets done. At minimum, I can promise at least one more of these. If you think that creepy jewelry store commercial in which the couple is in a cabin during a thunderstorm will go without scorn, you are sadly mistaken. That will have to wait however, since today we turn our focus to Mastercard.
The commercial can be seen here.
So let's delve right into this one.
:00-:07. Oh look! It is another Peyton Manning commercial. About time that man gets some publicity. Seriously, isn't the "I am so dumb, look how big of a hick I am" angle Peyton plays in most of these things a bit played out? It is clear the guy is pretty bright. He is basically coaching an undefeated NFL team, he has more money than god and he has managed to be incredibly famous for a decade without any sort of trouble or scandal. I get its supposed to be funny because he is giving his center a football, but I doubt most people get that. I get that the point is he is giving people stupid gifts. But its boring and unfunny. They are just playing the dumb hick angle, and it is no longer new or interesting. You're better than that, Peyton.
:08-:12. Is that...Alyson Hannigan? Huh? Do Manning and Hannigan have any kind of connection? They don't have similar jobs, one is much more famous than the other, they don't appeal to the same group of people and they don't really complement each other in way. If you are trying to appeal to everyone you aren't appealing to anyone. Alyson Hannigan?
:13-:17. Maybe this woman has serious issue with grinding her teeth and the mouth guard is a very thoughtful gift by Peyton. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT MASTERCARD? He should have done us all a favor and given her a helmet.
:17-:24. Old man humor. Yesssssssss. I wonder how much the ad wizards who came up with this one got paid.
:24-:30. Peyton and Alyson awkwardly stare at each other. It is like they are as equally confused as I am about this pairing. Making it worse, the product they are shilling for is terrible. Of course it has a terrible facebook tie in, but I ignored that and decided I would try to find a gift for my friend Vick. I filled out the questionnaire, saying Vick is the connoisseur. .
Now I have Peyton Manning talking to me. He jokingly suggests a heating pad. What a kidder. The program than suggests I purchase a glass set. Or the complete works of Shakespeare. Hope you aren't reading, buddy!
The commercial can be seen here.
So let's delve right into this one.
:00-:07. Oh look! It is another Peyton Manning commercial. About time that man gets some publicity. Seriously, isn't the "I am so dumb, look how big of a hick I am" angle Peyton plays in most of these things a bit played out? It is clear the guy is pretty bright. He is basically coaching an undefeated NFL team, he has more money than god and he has managed to be incredibly famous for a decade without any sort of trouble or scandal. I get its supposed to be funny because he is giving his center a football, but I doubt most people get that. I get that the point is he is giving people stupid gifts. But its boring and unfunny. They are just playing the dumb hick angle, and it is no longer new or interesting. You're better than that, Peyton.
:08-:12. Is that...Alyson Hannigan? Huh? Do Manning and Hannigan have any kind of connection? They don't have similar jobs, one is much more famous than the other, they don't appeal to the same group of people and they don't really complement each other in way. If you are trying to appeal to everyone you aren't appealing to anyone. Alyson Hannigan?
:13-:17. Maybe this woman has serious issue with grinding her teeth and the mouth guard is a very thoughtful gift by Peyton. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT MASTERCARD? He should have done us all a favor and given her a helmet.
:17-:24. Old man humor. Yesssssssss. I wonder how much the ad wizards who came up with this one got paid.
:24-:30. Peyton and Alyson awkwardly stare at each other. It is like they are as equally confused as I am about this pairing. Making it worse, the product they are shilling for is terrible. Of course it has a terrible facebook tie in, but I ignored that and decided I would try to find a gift for my friend Vick. I filled out the questionnaire, saying Vick is the connoisseur. .
Now I have Peyton Manning talking to me. He jokingly suggests a heating pad. What a kidder. The program than suggests I purchase a glass set. Or the complete works of Shakespeare. Hope you aren't reading, buddy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)