Christmas Commercial Critique: Mastercard

Christ, I am lazy. This is such a strong idea and I have nothing but free time, but nothing ever gets done. At minimum, I can promise at least one more of these. If you think that creepy jewelry store commercial in which the couple is in a cabin during a thunderstorm will go without scorn, you are sadly mistaken. That will have to wait however, since today we turn our focus to Mastercard.

The commercial can be seen here.

So let's delve right into this one.

:00-:07. Oh look! It is another Peyton Manning commercial. About time that man gets some publicity. Seriously, isn't the "I am so dumb, look how big of a hick I am" angle Peyton plays in most of these things a bit played out? It is clear the guy is pretty bright. He is basically coaching an undefeated NFL team, he has more money than god and he has managed to be incredibly famous for a decade without any sort of trouble or scandal. I get its supposed to be funny because he is giving his center a football, but I doubt most people get that. I get that the point is he is giving people stupid gifts. But its boring and unfunny. They are just playing the dumb hick angle, and it is no longer new or interesting. You're better than that, Peyton.

:08-:12. Is that...Alyson Hannigan? Huh? Do Manning and Hannigan have any kind of connection? They don't have similar jobs, one is much more famous than the other, they don't appeal to the same group of people and they don't really complement each other in way. If you are trying to appeal to everyone you aren't appealing to anyone. Alyson Hannigan?

:13-:17. Maybe this woman has serious issue with grinding her teeth and the mouth guard is a very thoughtful gift by Peyton. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT MASTERCARD? He should have done us all a favor and given her a helmet.

:17-:24. Old man humor. Yesssssssss. I wonder how much the ad wizards who came up with this one got paid.

:24-:30. Peyton and Alyson awkwardly stare at each other. It is like they are as equally confused as I am about this pairing. Making it worse, the product they are shilling for is terrible. Of course it has a terrible facebook tie in, but I ignored that and decided I would try to find a gift for my friend Vick. I filled out the questionnaire, saying Vick is the connoisseur. .

Now I have Peyton Manning talking to me. He jokingly suggests a heating pad. What a kidder. The program than suggests I purchase a glass set. Or the complete works of Shakespeare. Hope you aren't reading, buddy!