Christmas

I hate Christmas on so many levels.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment I started to hate Christmas. I know it was pretty hyped when I got that Sega Genesis when I was ten. I also know I hated this horrible season by the time I was 18.

It probably started when I was expected to buy things for other people. And not just five dollar gifts for my parents I bought with their money at the school Christmas Bazaar. People actually expected shit from me. It became especially stressful when I had a girlfriend for six years and she would never tell me what the hell she wanted. I had to "figure it out". Bullshit. That was alot of pressure for a teenager. It was the difference between getting laid and getting a blowjob or just getting laid, and this was a serious problem when I was 18. No wonder the two of us ended hating each other.

It also pisses me off when people ask me what I want, I say cash, and they won't just fucking give me cash. They want to get me something I really want. You know what I want? You to give me fifty bucks so I can buy booze. If you want to cut out the middle man and just buy me two cases of natty and a bottle of jack instead of giving me 50 bucks, fine. But I don't want a fucking DVD or mall gift card.

Then I worked retail on Black Friday. What the hell is wrong with you people? People lined up outside Target at 5 AM in freezing weather so they can buy a video game for 20 bucks. Idiots. Nothing like being berated by a middle aged hag as you check out a dvd player for her ungrateful snot of a son. This is what is wrong with America.

And then people act like its okay to treat each other like shit for 11 months, as long as they are nice for the 4 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its the "spirit of the season". What the hell does that mean? Why are you people so happy? Its goddamn cold out, and its only getting colder. Its dark at fucking 4:30 PM. This month sucks. I don't like you people January through November, some icicle lights aren't going to change my mind.

Christmas music sucks balls. There is like seven Christmas songs, and just having somebody else sing it doesn't make it better. And the stations that start playing nothing but Christmas music on November 1st should be burnt to the ground. There is only so many times I can hear Bing Crosby followed by Mariah Carey before I want to blow my brains in. The only Christmas song I kind of like is Last Christmas, and that is by fucking Wham. Fuck you Christmas for making me like a Wham song. I don't even really like it, it is just so much better than a Backstreet Boy Christmas or whatever else pop shit they play now that it looks like the fucking Beatles in comparison.

Damn I hate Christmas, and its only December 8th. More on this to come, I am sure.