People at Stores

Have you been to a public place lately? Its like a fucking leper colony out there. A week before the bastardly holiday that shall not be named, I headed out so a few local stores. I needed some shit and I would not be stopped by the insane people that crawl out of their holes this time of year. Below, I rank the attractiveness of people at each store, from best to worst.

Target

Ah, my old stomping grounds. Despite the awful job being done by the current cartboy (they could never adquately replace me), the clientele at Target is way above anywhere else I visited. Except for the frightening bitch who was blocking the candy canes from everyone else with pure sugar induced hatred in her eyes, people seemed sane, put together, and occasionally attractive.

Target also was the place most likely to have attractive cashiers (almost) in my age range. In hindsight, I really wasted opportunities when I worked there. The registers reek of teenage angst and repressed sexuality. Fuck I was a useless teenager. Of course I searched out the aisle of the best looking girl. And if you say you don't do that, you are a dirty fucking liar. It isn't like I am in some sort of hurry. Plus, I really hate the smell of Polident. And other dudes.

Modell's

The Modell's crowd was mostly mothers/grandmothers looking for something to buy their sons/grandsons. Not the greatest looking people, but not horrid. I have relatively little beef with these people, except when they try to write checks. Why old people think it is still socially acceptable to write checks is beyond me. The check pisses off the cashier, the person behind you, the bank, and god himself. GET A FUCKING DEBIT CARD.

The Modell's parking lot also meant trying to park and drive in a crowded parking lot. Jesus fucking christ is that a terrible experience. People who stop where they think there should be a stop sign but is no stop sign should be eliminated from society.

7-11

Ever wonder the kind of people who are in 7-11 at 9:30 on a Thursday? People like me, thats who. The 7-11 is generally filled with teenaged (I am teenaged mentally) slackers, buying slurpees, cigarettes and taquitos. Even the damn cashier was someone in the 18-21 age range who wanted to be anywhere but that 7-11. There isn't much to say about the people in the 7-11. They are mostly just there.

Best Buy

My god, Best Buy the bastion for people who have been rejected by every other sociatial group. I don't know who is scarier, the employees or the customers. I will now list the people you encounter at Best Buy.

1. The fat guy in shorts. Look, I have no problem with fat people. I once was a fat person. Shit happens, I get it. BUT PUT ON SOME GOD DAMNED PANTS. Its 30 degrees out, asshole. Unsurprisingly, FGIS is buying something related to World of Warcraft, and seen hovering in the video game aisle. He is also there with his friend...

2. Skinny guy in black. Why do video game nerds always travel in a fat/skinny combo? And why does the fat guy never shutup while the skinny guy never talks. Why do I always end up behind these people in line? Fucking mystery.

3. Technology guy who thinks he's better that you. Yeah asshole, I am buying a CD. I know I can burn it, but I have been burdened with this fucking gift card and have to buy something so stop snickering at me. Every employee at Best Buy thinks he is better than you. They also all have douchetastic facial hair. Its okay though, because TGWTHBTY hasn't seen a boob not on a computer screen since his mother finished nursing him.

4. Yokel amazed by technology. I don't know if it's at all Best Buys or just my local one, but the yokel/trailer park contingent is huge. It is like a celebration of NASCAR and poor hygiene in there. Anyway, these people are amazed by things like digital cameras. So amazed, that they bring the entire family with them to look at it. I don't think I have ever seen a yokel travel alone. They then cap their big day out at the technological store by buying a vacuum or microwave. Yokels are the only people who buy such items at Best Buy. I guess that is the equivalent of cutting edge technology to a yokel.

Other things commonly seen in Best Buy include: mustaches (men and women), track suits, ugly people.