Pop Music, Part 2

21. TI featuring Rihanna-"Live Your Life"

I don't mind this song. I am not sure if it is any good, but I don't mind it. If you haven't seen the new TI show on MTV, do yourself a favor and dvr it or something. It's glorious.

22. Kevin Rudolf featuring Lil Wayne-"Let It Rock"

There is nothing a rap label needs more than a shitty white musician claiming to make rock music. He is so credible that he got the absolute worst of all the previously mentioned Wayne phoned in guest verses. Lil Wayne--and a guitar! This song blows donkey dicks and if you disagree you are a fucking moron.

23. The Pussycat Dolls-"I Hate This Part"

Does anybody in this "band" sing besides the Nicole chick? I am not complaining, because she is hot and the others likely can't sing anyway. As for the song, I am real sucker for piano music even when it is painfully simple. And when it is adjoined by a typical pop breakup song. Sue me.

24. Katy Perry-"Hot n Cold"

You know this song is a winner since it was so fantastic Katy couldn't even spell out "and". She was clearly so exicited to release it that putting actual words in the title became of secondary importance.

"We used to be/Just like twins/So in sync/The same energy/Now's a dead battery". Lyrical Wwzardry.

25. Coldplay-"Viva la Vida"

I can't mention this song without pointing out it sounds an awful lot (exactly) like Joe Satriani. Google Coldplay VS. Joe Satriani for the evidence.

26. The Veronicas-"Untouched"

There is something about attractive twin girls claiming a desire to be touched that I find appealing. Also, it is fast paced, simple and easily gets stuck in your head. I approve as thoughtless pop music.

27. The-Dream-"Rockin' That Thang"

I've never heard this before, and was disappointed it was a "slow jam" and not a ridiculous rap song. Nothing of interest here really. Extra point for "She's riding that thing like a pony."

28. Asher Roth-"I Love College"

A white rapper! He loves college! And naked girls! AND BEER!!!! But you best not fall asleep near him with your shoes on or bounce while playing him in beer pong, or there will be steppin. Watching the video, I'm left wondering why none of the parties I went to in college involved a large mascot-like turtle.

This is the classic song that will be played by annoying kids in college 7.5 billion times between now and May. The song and the artist will never be heard from ever again. No one will miss either.

Someone should tell Asher that videotaping his college debauchery is a good way to end up on the smoking gun. May want to keep that to a minimum.

29. Katy Perry-"Thinking of You"

Finally, the inevitable Katy Perry love song. It is even acoustic at the start. What a talented musician she is!

"You're like an Indian summer/In the middle of winter/Like a hard candy/With a surprise center". Fuck music, this bitch could be the next Sylvia Plath. She is truly a lyrical genuis for a new generation.

30. Nickelback-"Gotta Be Somebody"

Much like every other piece of music by Nickelback that has become famous, I am left speechless. Utterly speechless. I thought never would something be worse than Creed, but thankfully Chad Kroeger exceeded what I ever thought was possible.

31. TI-"Whatever You Like"

I will forever associate this song with the Phillies championship parade. Thanks, Rush, you asshole.

32. Britney Spears-"Womanizer"

If you own a copy of this album, I fucking hate you. There is no way around it. If we we're friends, consider yourself officially disowned. Who listens to this music? Let alone actually enjoys listening to it. Maybe you thought it was catchy at first or had some morbid curiosity to see what the trainwreck was up to, but it has been on the charts for 21 weeks. You can not possibly like this song five months after initially hearing it. Unless you are a fucking idiot.

33. Pink-"So What"

See above, except this has been on the chart for 27 weeks. Na na na na na na, this song fuckin' blows. In fact you could take the paragraph for the Britney Spears song and it all applies here. Terrible song? Check. Maybe catchy to certain ears? Check. Trainwreck? Check. Worn out its shelf life? Triple check.

34. Taylor Swift-"White Horse"

Hey, it's the reverse "Love Song". In this one, she isn't in a fairy tale. In this one, I am also alot less entertained.

35. John Legend Featuring Andre 3000-"Green Light"

If you dislike songs that have videos feauturing Andre 3000 floating in a martini using an olive as a life raft, then this isn't for you. If that sounds like something you might be interested in, then proceed.

36. Toby Keith-"God Love Her"

All I knew about Toby Keith five minutes ago was that he loves this bar, this country, and George Bush. In this one of he loves the rebel child of a preacher. And the preacher doesn't approve. But God he loves her. Drama! My biggest concern here is the I think the girl is only 17. Isn't Toby Keith pretty old? I think someone should alert the authorities. You would think the preacher would be more up on things. Then again, this is the South so who knows. I really dislike pop country. Or alt-country. Or whatever the fuck it's called.

37. Rihanna-"Disturbia"

My God this is old. Isn't this from the summer? How is this still in the Top 40?

38. Keith Urban-"Sweet Thing"

Apparently this is neither the same person nor the same song that appears two spots earlier. The youtube comments for this song contain an argument about whether Urban is Ausralian or New Zealand. The love in this song seems to have many less things standing in its way than Toby Keith's. The video is unintentionally hilarious. The music bores me to tears.

39. Jesse McCartney Featuring Ludacris-"How Do You Sleep"

How does Luda decide he wants to do a duet with Jesse McCartney? Was he looking for an opportunity to work with a teenaged white boy who makes mediocre pop music. This is my first listen to this as well, and am still waiting for Ludacris' verse. There it is. It isn't very good. He does yell "LUDA" at the end, so I appreciate the consistency. This song sucks.

40. "Kid Cudi"-Day N Night"

Not to be confused with Hot N Cold. I had never heard this before. I think I might like it. Further investigation is needed. Fortunately the radio will play it 250 times a day for the next six months, so I will get the chance to figure it out and then despise it completely no matter which way I end up leaning.

Hooray radio! Hooray pop music!